There are days when the magic is just gone. Today, my weary web traveler, is one of those days. The medication I was on has a long tail and kept me pretty steady. The new actually runs out and has a tiny biological half-life. As a result, if something interferes with it then the drug just does not work. Its like I just quit the drugs all together. Shitty. So, right now I am floating between really angry and just wanting to be alone.
I hate being angry. When I am angry it affects others. Usually, when I have other symptoms I can just be scared of the world and put on my fake happy face. But when I am angry it is hard to hide and also my handling bullshit level is low. Things that mildly bother me become major attacks on my psyche. Usually, noise related: tapping, rustling, squeaking, etc. Also, talking to me and adding a fake level of bullshit to the conversation. You cant sell me anything in this mood. I just want the interactions to be quick and over so I can get back to being alone in my mind.
Interestingly, to me anyway, is that I am not angry in my mind. It just comes out that way. I think just fine and have nice loving thoughts but when the communication is sent to the output part of my mind it gets packaged all angry and rude. What the heck mind? Sometimes, I wonder which side I am on.
Anyway, enjoy the rest of your web travels today. I am off to silence a rattle, perhaps, with a hammer.