Unwelcomed Strangers

I started journaling about 30 years ago. Writing has worked me thorough the hard times. Not to be over dramatic, but, sometimes its what got me to the sunlight the next day. Often, I felt if I just could see the sun then I would be ok until night came again.

I never journal in the good times. I always write when things are going down or when I need to distract my over active mind from the doom it creates around itself.

The last couple days have been crazy ups and downs. I am on some new med and its weird. Thats not fair. Its weird to me and probably a Godsend to others. I am used to only two emotions: crushing depression or nothing. The depression is usually backed by a mind running 1000 mi/h and working out every possibility and future focusing on the bad and discarding the good. Which, strangely, has made me really good in business.

Anyway, its been up and down for days.  SUCKS. I am not used to all these emotions. Things like sadness, pride, intense empathy, or just simple happiness has not been in my world in so long that they are almost unwelcomed strangers.



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