Hello reader. How was your day? My day probably seems normal unless you are me. You have to understand a little about my working environment to understand how I respond to stress. Some times companies have to downsize, roll over management, and restructure. Well, my company has been doing that for 10 years. Its not a good company businesswise (money in, money our, use of resources). In just the last 5 years we have had four full administrative level replacements and tons of firings. We have been told over and over that we may be fired at anytime. This has been the mantra from whomever the hell is in charge for almost a decade. We are down to about 1/3 of the employees. Our “production” is larger than ever but it comes at a very high price by the employees.
Our new management has adopted a narrative that is untrue about how we got here. Its apparently a conspiracy enacted by the employees to destroy the company. We are NOT allowed to discuss or off any other narrative. That is the accepted and meeting often start with that statement and a forbidding to discuss otherwise. HaHa. So, we start with bullshit thats all our fault and we have to try and fix problems unless its with the admission its our fault.
Wow. So why work here? I wont for very much longer. Mostly I was really helping people and I get paid decent for what I do. Oh, and I have crippling depression. As that gets more under control the more I am out the door.
Right now, I just want to breakdown, scream, and cry. A big overweight artsy guy just balling his eyes out. Not a pretty sight. shit.