When the problems started I hit the internet looking for someone like me going through what I was going through. Turns out, it was much harder than I expected to find a similar story. The differences kept getting in the way of comparing my experiences with theirs. I kept thinking, “Oh, they are just too young.” or “They live in a big city.” or “Thats their culture.” etc. I just could not relate to their journey stories.
Honestly, depression and all of its mental add-ons are somewhat personal and unique to each sufferer. It took me awhile to relate to the story of others. So, let me explain who I am so if you are in the same boat or you just need to know what you are relating to.
First, the basics: I am in my late 40’s, married, children, college education, two successful careers, Christian, well paid, director over a department, money in the bank, parents living, nice house, and southern.
Because I have had two distinctly different careers, people have a very different views of me depending on where they know me from. In one path I was a research scientist and in another path the director/designer of an advertising firm.
I define myself, quite often, as an artsy-fartsy science guy.
I have tons of hobbies. Mostly, I am into photography and electronics. I can build robots and take dreamy pictures, too. I have been doing both of those hobbies since I was six years old. I terrified my parents with the idea I would be photographer, however, they were very happy with the electronics because the world needs engineers. I wish the world needed a science guy with a very creative imagination. I have that. Not in as much demand as you would think.
So, basically, I am a normal middle aged guy with a normal life. Before you dismiss me as just going through a midlife crisis, my story will go all the way back to 9th grade, so, don’t dismiss me yet. Also, we are not cookie cutters. I have a few bits about me resulting in quirks that are uniquely mine.
I am also not a doctor, so, anything I say is my view of my experiences and in NO WAY to be considered medical advice, relationship advice, or any advice at all. I mean, why would you take advice from me in the first place? It says right there in the title that I have problems. 🙂